do dreams come true ?

d i N i E

INTENSELY close to you, ...
To the world you may be but one, but to one you might be the world.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008 ( 5/13/2008 09:04:00 AM )

ok la I'll be honest...

i nearly burst out to tears today...
although it went out,
but i tried my best to hold on to it.

i was in the bus for goodness sake.
there are alot of people.
so was keeping myself low and not to create a scene.
(duh!)

i shut my eyes like as tho i was sleeping.
i didn't know whether it rolled down my cheeks or not.
but i was keeping my eyes closed for about ten to fifteen minutes.
it was all because i was "scolded"/told to quit my Hip Hop IG again.
my parents both didn't even support me for who i am.
who i want to be.
and what i want to do.
i know I've neglected a lot of prayers time but...
I'm trying my best to have a fixed schedule.
but unfortunately i can't.
i hate to have one.
if i have one, i would also be "scolded" due to maybe that i have to follow some kind of urgent matters and I'm not following the schedule and then i will get "scolded" again/too.
so might as well i don't have one.
because overall i think is pointless to have a schedule.
it will just be making my life more organized as well as making more burden to myself.
so might as well be neutral.
so no need to do.

is the world really turning around??
that the ones you love is tuning his/her back on you which were suppose to make u feel better when your down or feeling ill or you need someone..

since the day i joined dance, i can feel that i was given a very very cold shoulder from my parents. and i say again, MY PARENTS.
i can't blame them because its them.
a thing about me that they don't like.
they won't bother.
i know mom tried to, on my butt's off finals.
but it didn't work.
dad, i don't need to say.
i know what u think.
"my son, a dancer??"
right??! i know i can't be fucking good at bowling or at badminton.
so please don't force me.
its just a leisure kind of thing.
need not necessary to be serious.

and wth.
say better for me to stay at home and STUDY rather then going dance.
eh fuck! why the hell i got a B for my first UT??!
if u didn't know whether I'm studying or not, you can ask how am i doing right??
i tried to study hard everyday in school, and u said that i don't study.
and u gotta be knowing how close i am with my current classmates.
bullshit!
asshole!
asdgfargicai jej
recwrhg
ercvsrgr
!!!!!!!!!!!!
arghh!
i know you all are trying to make myself a favor.
but i just can't stop whatever I'm doing right now.
I'll lost everything I've worked for.
my Interest Group/Hip Hop (CCA)
my polytechnic life
my youth
my darl ='( which is my everything..
and that's it
my everything..
if i lost her,
i really don't know what to do.
so Ferra, please don't say that i don't love you.
you mean more to me than you think.
you are there, when i need someone.
it was used to be my parents but it was way way way long time ago.
and my previous ex's,
was just something that plays around in my mind.
but this is something true.
i just want you to know that.
(she's going break with her friends)
it's ok. it has always been with you and me
so i guess its time for you and your friends to have break together.

....
I'm having a mind blockage now.
so i don't want to have anymore nags.
and i need to save some piece of my mind on today's problem.
so got to go.
=) or ='(..?
i don't know.
let's see how it goes today aite.
=) <---i hope so.
and sayang, dun treat me differently today. =(
i need you to be normal as if u have not read my blog.
okie dokie =)).
i promise i'll smile if u smile =))
ok. here is where i stop today
chaioz!